After a series of some very unexpected messaging with an unexpected person over four days I got inspired to throw myself into another challenge...my steepest one yet.
I can easily say that getting to this point was initially born from my 31 day challenge I spontaneously did at the beginning of summer. That, of course, led to those three weekends of triathlons I did in the Okanagan. I still have yet to really write about those, although I wrote a couple things during that time that moved a lot of people.
I went through a series of very mixed emotions with those races. I still don't know what to make of it all. Competitive triathloning just didn't feel like it once did. I felt like an outcast different than I usually do within that world. I just didn't feel like I belong in any respect. I wasn't sure if it was even fun either, so there didn't see too much point to it.
Coming down the finishing chute in Pavilion Lake to end my second race I was immediately jolted with questioning perspective because of the response I drew from the crowd who were all waiting for me. I didn't really know what to think, but they sure made me feel like a hero for a day again.
Still a bit weathered in mud from the Pavilion Triathlon west of Kamloops on Sept. 26, my boy is ready to roll regardless!
There was a lot of the Pavilion crew at the next weekend in Summerland and they made me feel like family. Really, really great people! They want me back at their race whenever I want to go. This was a conflicting notion as I was looking to walk away from competitive racing as I have mentioned.
Doing one race on a weekend has long been anything but a challenge for me, and they have become almost a redundant notion. I still think I am closing the door on that world, but at the same time I am not shutting out racing in Pavilion Lake again. If you saw what I experienced it might be easier to understand. Talking with Wayne (Little) in the dog park after racing in Summerland the following weekend definitely left me with something to think about, so although a single day race isn't really what I would see as a challenge, I might be back there again.
My thirst to challenge myself is unquenching though. I just can't escape it. I do these things that have left people inspired and in awe because of the intensity, but I have never felt like I have approached the brink of break for myself, even when in the midst of one of those journeys I have to dig in with everything I have just to pull myself through.
The depth of the human's true potential is so fascinating to me, and has at times been very addictive. I don't feel complete as a person, as a human, if I am not trying to do my part in living up to my own potential. It is something that really bothers me, and I haven't been shy about expressing that. Despite the thought of what others have said about these things I have put myself through, I have only ever felt like I have fallen short of finding that in myself.
I picked up some new high-performance racing flip-flops. (I purposely placed them at a less than square angle to the deck planks to dig a bit at my OCD friends...yes, I am a bastid - Tony had it right today at the bakery! I fuckin' love Tony. What a good guy!)
It so often seems, that as people, we are so blessed with this extraordinary potential, but it is only a small, small percent of people who actually attempt to find that in themselves for what that really means. I guess I dream of a world where what would be perceived as greatness now, would only just be what normal is because everyone is taking their gift of what is possible to the absolute maximum as their regular daily life.
The main thought I live with is, "How can we really know what we have living in us if we never give it an honest run to tap into that with everything we have...where we test our mental fortitude, physical strength, endurance, creativity, tenacity, spirit, will, and everything all maxed out at the same time simultaneously...where we need to dig in deeper than we ever knew we had on every level to be able to find what isn't there to pull ourselves through?" (I know that was a long-ass run-on sentence or question, but I don't care!)
It just seems like a rare thing where people really throw themselves in the meat grinder to bring out a level in themselves that they never knew they had. I believe with everything in me that we all have that sense of special in us, and as far as myself goes, I will never be satisfied until I feel like I have given it an honest run regardless of any of my barriers I might face in life. Besides, I like to look barriers straight in the eye, punch them in the mouth, and run over their ass!
My fancy racing toes I let Sarah have fun with the day before she went on maternity leave are still hanging in there nicely. Who needs fancy racing shoes when you can have fancy racing toes?!
So, my new challenge that I have thought up for myself that was inspired by this unexpected messaging is that starting tomorrow (Thursday) I will be doing a duathlon (run-bike-run) every day for 74 straight days. It will take me to December 2nd, the day before my birthday, and will mean a lot of suffering through some real nasty weather...freezing cold rain, ice, snow...
The toll it will take on my body will be immense. The toll it will take on my mind will be even more immense. When I did those 50 straight days of duathlons three years ago, although beat, battered and exhausted, it was the mental aspect of things where the real challenge lived.
What it looks like from my yard today in the beginning.
I can kind of prepare myself a bit better having had that experience under my belt, but then there is always the unexpected...especially considering the bad hernia I have. My hernia was supposed to be operated on in late September/early October, but because our medical system in this area can often lick balls, I have to put it off another 6 months. Instead of having to be sidelined to heal during the fall, my postponed surgery frees up the time to dive into this challenge. The only thing that will change is that if it is deemed an emergency when I see the surgeon for an assessment on October 10 and get shuttled right in to go under the knife I will do that. I just have to be sliced and diced with enough time to heal before I have to shovel snow. As it is now, that just can't happen, so I have to wait til after the snow is gone.
Doing 74 consecutive days of duathlons with this hernia will make things more challenging for sure, but I have had it for so long now that I can navigate through it pretty well...it just gets to be a pain in the ass.
I feel like I really need this intense challenge though. Something feels incomplete with me and maybe I might find some peace despite everything this challenge is going to mean.
The last of my sunflowers. Time to say good bye to summer and launch myself into the gnarly seasons in style!
I definitely wouldn't be embarking on this if it was for Ali, Leo, and Kaila inspiring me to throw myself into that month long challenge at the beginning of summer...that led into the triathlons. (I haven't really thought of them too much since I began that. I have started writing something about the truth of inspiration because of them though that will shed some light on that...I'll finish it eventually)
Then there is this recent bit of events that made all of this come up over the past handful of days and that person from worlds away who got in my head as well.
Looking at those people, what I can say, is that you can never underestimate the impact you might have on another. Whether you realize it or not, it does pay to be good person, with a good heart walking in balance for where your journey might take you. You just never know who is paying attention and what it might mean to them.
Thanks for making me a better me in this moment!
Stuff Writin' About Kinda Guy
I am a simple guy who likes to dream of the impossible and go after it. I have found fun in writing about my journey as well as other things that inspire me too.