LaRae has popped back up on the radar a few times over the past few days.  I was fortunate enough to have seen her a couple times, and sitting her reflecting on that a bit right now I kinda feel like this really overdue.

I usually write things in their own time without much thought.  Get hit by something, sit down and write it!  Just like that.  I don't even read or go through half the shit I write.  I just fire it off in one shot and move on.  This one feels different though, and I feel kinda shitty for taking so long.

LaRae is fuckin' something maaaan!

It's really hard to encapsulate how she came into my life...and maybe that's why it has taken me so long to do this.

A couple years ago, I stood on a stage with tears rolling down my face in front of about 200 people when I was at a cancer fundraiser.  Listening to the speech being given, I kinda just broke down.

While I was standing there with those tears, some girl came up to me and took my hand in one of hers, and then wrapped her other arm around me...and squeezed.  I didn't even flinch to look and see who it was because all my attention was for the person speaking on stage.  

This mystery person completely latched onto me in a very loving way.  She gave me a kiss on the cheek a few different times while holding tight the entire time.  

Even though I didn't even look at her, and had no idea who she was, I got filled with this deeply profound feeling of love for another human being coming from her.  At times, in that moment on that stage, all I could see was that love she was expressing.  It was unreal!  Whoever it was, you could tell she just cared, and she really, really fuckin' meant it!  A complete stranger to a complete stranger in a crazy moment.  It was actually quite overwhelming.

When the speech was over, she gave me the biggest hug ever...I mean, loooong hug!  Squeezing real fuckin' tight!  This person crammed an eternity of love in a moment, and then with one last little kiss on the cheek, vanished back into the crowd...

Just like that!

She came outta nowhere, created this unreal amount of love, and then vanished.

I don't know why I didn't look at her in that moment, but I fully engrossed in the emotion she was sharing.  I've never experienced anything like it, and given the levity of all that night entailed, I know I'll never experience anything like that again.  I knew it at the time too, and I savoured in it.  The weight of it all did not escape me.  I was in the midst of something special and I reveled in it...even in tears in front of a couple hundred people.

I found out who LaRae was a couple days later.  I had just met her cousin about month earlier, and I asked her who that person was, because she was really nice to me, and I just wanted to say thanks.

That's how I met LaRae!

She will forever be one of the most special people to me in my entire life because of how we met.  Even if we had never seen each other again that would still hold true.

I've been very blessed with a lot of really good people in my life.  No matter where I go, they just keep appearing.  LaRae is something else though.  Getting to know her since, everything about the way we met just made sense.  

Crystal.  Fuckin'.  Clear!

The vibrancy of this woman is insane!  She is like walking sunshine!  It doesn't matter what you're going through, her presence just fills everything with life, love, radiance her profound, profound vibrancy!

LaRae has this thirst for life, and goes right the fuck after it!  She is a mountain top standing, laketime kayaking, waterfall finding, snowboard riding, festival going, pure love creating absolutely gorgeous soul!  She is one of the good ones.

If you're lucky enough to have LaRae come anywhere near your life, count your blessings because she is an angel sent from the divine of whatever your trip is.  A true gift of everything that is good in life!

I hardly ever see her, but she makes every single moment seem like a life time.  She appears...and disappears!  Appears...and disappears...but leaves you totally blown away every time!  If only everyone let their vibrancy shine like she does, I can guarantee a lotta hurt in this world would be mended.

I love the special soul that LaRae is.  I love knowing that someone like her exists.  She put the truth of the humanity in her heart on full display standing next to that stranger on that stage, and it's the only thing I'll ever see in her.

The word 'astonishing' should be reserved solely for LaRae because she is everything that word dreams to become!

PS...

LaRae = Best!  Hugs!  Everrrr! 

From September 18, 2018

When I was on my way to the Okanagan for the last of my three triathlon trips this summer I hit a deer just before I got into Grand Forks.  I was absolutely horrified by the accident as it was a little spotted fawn.  I'll save that story for another time.

I stopped in town to assess the damage before I kept rolling down the road, especially since it was somewhere between 3:00 -4:00am.

There was only some minor damage to my front driver side light and signal light that I was gonna need to get sorted, but nothing serious, so I kept on my way.  When I got home from the weekend I got in touch with Joe & Al to set up an appointment to get some lovin’ for my van.

When I pulled up to their shop at Steel Toe Joe’s in Krestova I was greeted by Rosie in the driveway as soon as I got outta my van.  She saw my dogs, and had to immediately 'cess the situation with who these fuckers were at her place.  (I had Paul's doggie, Cecelia, while he was away at Red Rocks in Colorado for a Greensky Bluegrass show). 

Rosie the shop dawg!

Rosie is pretty excellent.  As Fennario is my work's hotel doggie, Rosie is the shop doggie at Steel Toe Joe's!  She even has her own seat that she seems to have taken complete ownership of.

My appointment was at 2:00pm, and I guess I rolled in at 1:58pm.  I knew this because they were half shocked about it.

Porter:  "Who in the Kootenays is ever on time?!"

(Jon) Porter works for Joe in the shop.  He is a super good guy.  He just grinds away at what he's doin', and then every-so-often you'll hear him start gigglin' at our meandering conversations.

As casual as I am, and as much as I don’t like to hurry for pretty much anything, I do try to be on time for appointments as I find it prudent to be considerate of those who may be in front or behind me.

Joe was out test driving some guy's pick-up truck when it was my turn, so Porter hopped right in my van, drove it into the shop, and got right at it.  Pronto service!

It wasn't too hard for him to figure out what headlight was messed up from the little deer because as soon as he popped the hood and lifted it up, the light fell right out.

He started laughing, “Found it!”

I got Porter to put on my snow tires while I was there too.

Joe came and went, working on this and that, and searching through the computer for parts while Al did her desk-y work.  Al is the duty manager...also Joe's wife.

Joe and Al are amazing.  Just really, really great people!  I've known them for 15 years now, and they have become some of my closest friends.

First photo is Al trying to act angry that I took her photo.  Second one is when I called bullshit on her being angry.

Over the years I have watched Joe's whole progression towards someday having his own shop at his home.  While doing his apprenticeship, he had to go away to Cranbrook for school, and then to Kelowna over a period of four years.  It was a bummer having to be away from his wife and kids, but it was all a part of the grander vision and he was doing what he had to do.

Joe worked, and worked, and just ground it out...even towing truck for three or four years.  He would be in the shop from 8am - 5pm, and then be on call for the rest of the 24 hours...often being called out in the middle of the night.  He did all this while having a family with Al and their three young children!

A family affair!  Ollie (their youngest) helping mom and dad.

Joe is the epitome of a hard worker.  On top of that, he is as solid as they come.  When I think of what a good human is, he is one of the first people who comes to mind.  In an industry that is widely known to have scammers and just a lotta shittiness, Joe is the one who stands out above the rest.  There is no one more honest than him, and there is nothing he can't fix.  

When I say there is nothing he can’t fix, I’m talking far beyond just vehicles.  I once had a problem with my bike that no local bike shops could fix, nor could bike shops in Calgary and the Okanagan.  It was a loose rivet that was the issue.  I was sent to the riveting specialist in Nelson and even he couldn't do it, so I took it to Joe.  He was working at Western Auto Wreckers at the time.  I dropped off my bike, came back in a couple days, and it was good to go!  Back racing triathlons again!  (When I dropped it off, Corey and Perry came out and slobbered over the awesomeness of it.)

(Clint, Corey and the rest of the boys at Western Auto had always been real good to me.  It always felt like they would give me a tad bit of special treatment there.  With the exhaustion so deep in my body, there had even been times when I would pass out on their desk in the office, and they didn't mind.  They were always into and entertained by what I was doing.  They even used to sponsor me when I raced hard years ago.)

In a way I was a bit sad to see Joe leave Western because I liked the guys there, but when he told me he was finally goin' for it with his shop I was super psyched for him.  Nothing in the past mattered at that point, because I was aware of the whole journey and what it truly meant to him to finally arrive at the foot of his dream.

Although the road to that whole dream of the home-based shop was not always an easy one, it came together real fast when Joe and Al found the amazing new home they bought in June of 2015.  It is in Krestova on several acres of land, and had a shop on it.  

For the first couple years the shop was designated as their social hangout.  It was great for that!  They had Thanksgiving in it in 2015 and called it, "Shopsgiving."  They also had Christmas there one year and called it, "Shopsmas."  I mean, how good is that?!

Joe's dream of his home shop persisted though, but it always seemed like a bit of a distant thing even though they had most of the pieces in place.  Then, just like that, one day he said, "Fuck it!" and went for it.

Talking with him about it, it was all just the whole concept of having the courage to just dive into the unknown and go.

He had to do some reno's to his shop to get it full business ready, but nothing too crazy.  He ripped out a small couple walls, raised a section in the roof so he could put in a lift, and put in a bigger sliding door on the front.  Just like that, he was ready to go!

After the school year was done at the end of this past June, Al finished up with her old job that she had been doing for many years, and joined Joe in the shop as the Duty Manager.

In all the 15 years I have known them, and all the fun and shenanigans we have had together, Joe said my favourite thing I have ever heard him say at an annual party they had on the second weekend of August.

Deep into the night he and I were talking a bit about the shop, and I asked him how it was with Al there...how she liked it, how they flowed together in a working environment, etc.

Joe said, "It's great!  I love my wife, and she loves me!  We get along so well, and all day long we get to see each other.  I love it!"

I don't really need to say how amazing that is, do I?!  It was definitely one of those moments where you just get happy for other people's happiness.

I've seen Joe and Al in the serious grind of some of the earlier years just trying to make it all work, and now, without exception, every time I am here I just get happy for them because they are both truly living their dream.  There is not a time that I go to their place that that thought does not enter my mind…regardless of why I am there.

The environment they have created in their Steel Toe Joe's Automotive shop is warm, inviting, friendly, yet very professional.  They are both the kindest people ever, and absolutely freakin' hilarious too!

I know that sometimes women can feel intimidated at automotive shops.  I’ve seen that kind of thing through advertisements and such of the rare auto shop that is owned and operated by women…where part of their advertising pitch is about their shop being a place where women can feel safe and comfortable.  

I’m not gonna get into what I think of all that here, but what I will say is that no woman will ever feel that at Steel Toe Joe’s.  Ever!  It doesn’t matter who you are, when you are at their shop they will make you feel at ease.  As I eluded to above, Joe is one of the first people who comes to mind when I think of what a good human is, and Al…shiiit…I don’t think there is a more caring person on this planet, not that I have ever come across anyway!

It just feels like home, like you’re hanging out with good friends while Joe and Porter take care of your vehicles and Al takes care of you personally.  I’m not just saying that because I am their friend, but because I am very observant towards who they are.  (I’m only their friend because of the good people they are.)

There is no way I could possibly recommend anyone higher if you are in the area from Nelson to Castlegar and the lower Slocan Valley.  If you don't live in this area and you have car problems, it totally sucks to be you!  I kinda feel sorry for you!

Steel Toe Joe's staff...some of the best people you will ever meet!
Left to right:  Joe & Al Shaw, Jon Porter

Steel Toe Joe's Automotive is the shit!  The best of the best!  Honest, reliable, and the ass-whuppin'est car fixin'est mutha-fuckas there are!

You leave there happy, entertained, and with your car all patched up.

You can find them at:
3804 Pine Road
Krestova, BC
V0G 1H2
(778) 454-0180
stjautomotive@gmail.com

On Facebook at:  www.facebook.com/Steel-Toe-Joes-Automotive-Repair-587555518068314/

Google Maps Link:
www.google.ca/maps/place/3804+Pine+Rd,+Slocan+Park,+BC+V0G+2E0/@49.4485777,-117.6076548,15z/data=!4m5!3m4!1s0x537cce56a8fc7a65:0xaac708aeb82af13f!8m2!3d49.4485779!4d-117.5989001

**I'm not really sure what to title this one...

I had just woken up from a siesta after work and was doing some scrolling through Facecrack while I came human before I went out to do a duathlon for myself.  (Run-bike-run)

I had just woken up from a siesta after work and was doing some scrolling through Facecrack while I came human before I went out to do a duathlon for myself.  (Run-bike-run)

I saw a post of some article from my friend Tara.  It had the headline that was something like,

“A female blackout, are you kidding me?  Women need more presence, not less!”

First thought in my head was, “Are you fucking kidding me?!”  

(Prepare yourself for a lotta cursing as I am a foul mouthed little bastid, and this subject is gonna draw a lotta it outta me.)

**For those who know me well, she is the person who is closest to me in my life.  Nobody knows me better.  There is no boy-girl stuff between us…never has been, and definitely never will be.  Pushed by questions from others, we actually had that conversation that was instigated by me to make sure everything was on the level.  I am a blunt person with no filter, and I simply said, (amongst a buncha other things)...

“You’re like a sister to me, and I’m never gonna stop expressing what you mean to me.  You’re my closest friend who I love to death!”

Back to the story…

I began to write a comment, but after two lines knew right away that a simple Facecrack comment was not enough for this one, so I dragged myself outta bed, fired up my writing computer, and started cracking at it.

There seems to be this crazy war of the sexes right now that, from my unplugged mind can tell, started when that sick fuck, Bill Cosby first came into light.  Then things turned into a tornado of emotion from all over the place with the “Me Too!” movement.  

I know, “movement” is not likely the right word, but it’s all my simple mind has got right now, so please to pin me to the wall just yet.

 Now shit is right fuckin’ psycho…something to do with a Supreme Court guy and a woman in some hearings. (That’s me not being plugged in again…you can see why though…stay away from the noise!)

All this shit is so fucked!  I mean, I just fuckin’ hate it!  Reading that, don’t try and peg me as some feminist either, because I am not that.  I only care about equality across the board!

I don’t care about what someone’s gender is.  It is irrelevant, meaningless, and doesn’t mean shit!  It’s the same with skin colour, sexuality, or faith and beliefs.  The only thing that matters is if you’re kind, or an asshole.  That’s it.  It is that simple!

If you’re kind, fuckin’ right, let’s hang out!  If you’re an asshole, you can go fuck yourself right before you throw yourself off a cliff!  I wouldn’t have any problem with that.  Our world is far too over populated, so if the assholes wanna thin themselves out, I’m all for it!

Back to feminism for a moment…  That shit used to be about equality, but it seems to have taken quite a militant turn to very anti-male.  When you look at so much of the shit girls have had to deal with though, can you fuckin’ blame ‘em?!

I’ve never understood it though.  I grew up only knowing everyone as the same.  The only thing that determined who I gravitated toward or was repelled against was who the person was…what their personality was like.

In school, as a whole, girls were always smarter than the boys.  To be fair, most of the guys, didn’t give a fuck about school and learning.  I was the epitome of what a teacher hated in school.  I always found it really easy to be smart and get good grades, but I hated school work, and I didn’t give one sweet fuck about it.  Screwing around having fun was way more appealing, so that’s what I did.  I was labeled, “Class Clown” by grade three, and actually had the T-Shirt in grade four.  I haven’t changed much.  I’ve put my co-workers into tears, and even asthma attacks from laughing so hard just from fuckin’ around in the office.

I’m wandering astray there, but I was getting at the whole thought of the girls I grew up with being smarter than boys.  It wasn’t something the boys cared about.  We just knew who the smartest ones were (Tiffany Smith, Lee-ann Ciok) and went to them for help.

As I write that, I am thinking of all those douche-bag guys in today’s world who would never admit to being able to go to a girl for help.  That shit doesn’t make sense to me either.  It’s stupid, stupid, stupid!

I’ve always connected well with girls.  There’s never really been a reason for it.  Tiffany Smith and I were seated together in grade one, and even though I haven’t seen her since 2007 when she came out for a triathlon of mine when I went to do a race in my hometown in Ontario, she will never not be my soul mate!  She will tell you the same thing.  (There was never anything between us either.)

Back to the not understanding theme…  

I’ve never understood the inequality thing with girls.  (Women, ladies, female, girls, etc…  I keep it simple and stick with, “Girls.”)  It wasn’t a thing the way I was raised, and where I came from.  Not in the home, not at school, not in the playground.

Photos by Phil Best
www.bestphotos.ca/

When I say I’m unplugged, I mean, I literally lived in a snowshoe access place deep in the bush up the side of a mountain for 10 years. I never had internet, I only had one shitty snowy TV channel, and barely had a phone while I was there.  (I got in a lotta shit over living like that because if something happened to me, I’d be fucked and nobody would ever know.)

I like living unplugged.  It clears the clutter.  I still don’t have a phone or TV.  I have internet now, but my homepage is Google on purpose so I don’t get bombarded with shit as soon as I turn it on.  All I see is what I bring myself to.

Only a few years ago did I find out that pay inequality is actually a thing.  I know there is a lotta debunking out there for that subject that has merit, but I know it goes on.  I also know it works both ways though.  I worked in a spa for eight years.  In that time, over 60 girls worked there, and except for a guy named Andrew, who worked there for only two weeks, I was the only boy.  Spas don’t hire boys!  There might be the odd one here and there, but nothing to fulfill an argument suggesting otherwise.

Of course the spa world is only a small pocket in the grand scheme of things.  I say, let the girls have it, because unfortunately there is so much they still don’t have…which is totally fucked!

So here I am, back in my perplexed state of mind!  Girls are fuckin’ awesome!  I love them so much.  I’ve always connected very well with them.  The girls in the spa were never shy to tell me that I was different, and it was why I was able to stay there.

I never saw myself as different though.  I do realize I am as unique as a person can get.  That is a long story in itself, but it is easy to say there is nobody like me.

I think the thing with the girls in the spa was that I only saw them as who they were.  They’re spa girls.  They’re all beautiful, healthy (Even though they partied hard at times…they still brought carrots to work.), yoga-y, toned in shape girls.  I’m not blind, and the insane, vicious athlete in me has always admired a human body that is taken care of.  (Girl or guy!)  As with Tara, I only saw them like sisters.  Sure, every few months one of them would walk into the spa, and I would double take, and tell her she looked amazing today, and then I’d smile and walk away.  No big deal.  No ogling, or whatever.

I never made them uncomfortable though.  It was usually quite the opposite.  Not just in my spa, but even out on the sidewalk, or wherever else, I’ve had many girls walk into me in tears to give me a hug.  I’ve comforted many girls when they have been in a broken state.  I just happen upon them, and as soon as they see me they break down, regardless of where they are.  

I’ve talked with some of the ones this has happened to down the road afterward, and it’s the same thing as what my spa girls would say…that I am like a safe place for them where they feel comfortable.  

Hearing that has been flattering, but has always kinda tripped me out.  It breaks my heart because I’m just being the way I figured was normal, but then I see these girls completely broken, and I can see that it isn’t.  I don’t get it.  

I’ve seen so many amazing girls just totally fucked around by guys that it can tear me up.  I can’t help but feel something for them, and there’s no way it wouldn’t affect me…unless I’m right outta my damned mind!  

(I’m not just sticking up for the girls here though, ‘cause I know a lotta guys who are just the kindest, best people ever who have had their lives torn to shreds by total psycho girls.  I will never deny that.  There is a lotta that where I live.  I started making people laugh with my observation within it all around here.  “This place maaaaan…it seems to be full of real sweetheart girls who are with total asshole guys, and super kind guys who are with real psycho girls…and everyone thinks there is no one good out there.  I wish the psychos would get together with the assholes, and the super kind could get together with the sweethearts, but alas, it’s rarely like that…it’s all fucked!”)

While acknowledging that there are total psycho girls out there, it’s not even close to a balanced thing…or so it seems.

It so saddening and heartbreaking the constant stream of shit that girls gotta put up with.  Even in the horrifying circumstance that something bad might happen, they’re rarely believed.  It’s totally fucked that’s even possible.  In the instance that it’s undeniable…tons of witnesses, caught on video, whatever, somehow it can get turned into, “what did she do to instigate it?” or, “she’s blowing it out of proportion,” or “it’s not really that bad,” or whatever.  There’s way more vile shit going on that my brain doesn’t know how to think up (the kinds you see coming outta those hearings and shit that have so many up in arms, losing their shit over), so I keep it simple.

It’s no wonder girls can feel both defeated and fighting back at the same time.  It’s gotta be some exhausting shit for sure in a constant battle that shouldn’t even have to exist in the first place.

It makes absolutely no sense to me that people don’t understand the most basic concept of treat others the way you want to be treated.  Also, Yes and No are very clear cut words.  There is no misinterpreting what they mean.  Unless you have a legit mental condition going on where you don’t think proper (I’m not too sure the right way to put that), everyone knows the difference between right and wrong whether they want to admit it outwardly or not.  

We all know when we’re fuckin’ up…especially when it comes to hurting someone who says no, please stop.  How the fuck is something like that misinterpreted?!  Then you have the sick fuck, vile pieces of shit like Bill Cosby who drugged girls for decades.  I don’t even know how to put my head around that one.  I really don’t.  It’s so far beyond something my mind knows how to comprehend that it just baffles me.

I heard he has been tossed in jail now, which is sure a damned victory, but the damage that that fuckin’ guy had done for so long can’t be undone.  The violation is incomprehensible!  (I sure hope the girls take every cent that guy has!)

The thing is, he’s just one guy, and to think that he’s the only one is insane!  Absolutely insane!  It sickens me to even think about though.  I don’t like having thoughts like that in my head.  I hate being angry, etc.  It’s like Bob Dylan said,

“Don’t hate anything except hatred!”

Another thing that sickens me is a world without women.  What a piece of shit world that would be!  Girls are fuckin’ awesome.  If you stop looking at their bodies as something bang through to who they really are, this whole wonderful world opens up.  The flavour and variety that girls bring to the world, and their softness to our rigidness is very comparable to a world of black and white vs one with colour!  

Good gawd…if women did a global walk-out kinda thing, I’d wanna punch out ever fuckin’ guy on the planet ‘cause that would be the shittiest thing ever!  EVER!  

What the fuck have we come to as humans that we find ourselves in a place like this?!  We have this infinite potential but here we are getting dumber and fuckin’ dumber like pieces of shit that don’t deserve to exist.

For all the shit girls have to endure that a guy never has to think about (Ex:  walking at night by themselves!), I wish I could apologize on behalf of all the guys, but I can’t, and what would it even do anyway?!  Thinking about that just makes me sad.

Girls, as a whole, are fuckin’ amazing!  I love them so much.  It hurts to see them hurting.  I hate seeing that, and as I had eluded to earlier, I have seen many tears.  I can say that even being a mean, nasty, tough, tough gnarly athlete who curses and swears more than anyone.  I just have a balance…an extreme balance.  I love being tough and nasty, but I also love being a guy who girls can feel completely safe around in their most vulnerable states.

Held together by tape and wraps to race through the pain.
Photos by Phil Best
www.bestphotos.ca/

I wish people would just throw the whole gender thing…and race, sexuality, and whatever.  Just see people and be kind to each other.  It’s easy to be considerate.  It’s easy to help one another out.  It’s easy to care for another.  The best part, is that it feels good to give a shit about others.

It baffles me that we can be so fuckin’ stupid when we have this ultimate capacity and potential for brilliance.  It makes no gawd damned sense whatsoever!  

Obviously I can’t apologize for anyone else for something they might have done, but for some reason I feel compelled to share this thing I just wrote a week or two ago for a friend who has been having a tough time.  I never read it.  I was thinking about her, sat down and wrote it in one shot, and then sent it to her.  I remembered the essence of it, so I shared it with a couple other friends afterward, and it moved them quite a bit.  One of my friends, she answered me like this:

Good god I needed that…

For any guys that might read this.  It is possible to be the guy-est guy ever and still be aware and sensitive to the girls.  Thankfully, I know a lotta really good guys like that, but there sure are a lotta them that need to pull their heads outta their asses for sure!

I don’t know if there is anything else I can say, so I’m just gonna end with that thing I wrote.
 
"It Waits For her"

I see this beautiful woman
I look into her heart
Holding so much life
The love inside her
But I know something more
Underneath the cover
Look inside
A fracture lies there
Her heart, it hurts
Feeling quite confused
Looking for signs
Of some guiding light
To end her pain
Holding her down
I wish I could
Make it all disappear
But it's not for me
That path lies for her
Still I see the foundation
She is built on
Despite feeling somewhat lost
It's still there
The purity of her soul
Waiting for her to find
The meaning of herself
That has never left
She's just having troubles
Seeing her own shine
But I know it is there
Underneath all of the hurt
It is still there
Her passionate divide
Connecting heart and mind
Even when feeling so lost
It is still there
Hurt may feel overcome
But it will pass
Her love inside
Her passion for life
Is far too strong
To be held down
And kept aside
For what dwells down in
Where her love resides
Waiting to be set free
It will know its time
Release the pain
Leave her clear to see
The endless beauty
Surrounding her
Living inside of her
The endless beauty
That is her
But for now she hurts
It makes me sad
Knowing this
When I look to her
And see what I see
All I can do
Is hope for her
To find her peace
Recapture her love
Felt within
Her own beautiful self
Her true nature
Her story she strives to live
The story that inspires her
The best I can do
Is feel all the love
I've learned in life
Feel it deep
Send it across the world
Send it to her
Soaring through the skies
Transcending the seas
Find its way to her
Massage her heart
Take its hand
The hand of her heart
Take it in mine
Tell her it will be OK
Tell her she will be fine
It might take some time
But she will find
All that passions her
All the love she has
So desperate inside
Trying to escape
Release onto the world
The nature of her soul
Her beautiful mind
Her loving heart
Free of pain
Holding her down
I want to say
It will be OK
But it's not for me to do
Even though it's all I want to do
I just want to say
She will find her way
So all I can do
Is hold her deep
Within my love
I've learned over time
Embrace it full
Send it across to her
In hopes she might see
Someone knows
The real beauty
She has within
Even when it's hard for her
To see for herself
In this time
It breaks my heart
But I know
She will be set free
Spread her wings
Fly into herself
The love she desires so
Living within
The hurt she knows
It disappears
It cannot fly
Keep up with her soul
Her kind soul
Astonishing so
Of pure truth
The nature of her soul
Always lying in wait
Just for her
Embrace her whole
It gives me comfort to know
I can see the truth
True nature of her soul
She'll be fine
It might take some time
But she'll be fine
That love she has
Swirling deep inside
Cleansing all the hurt
Confusion
And her pain
The love she has
Swirling inside
Deep inside
Will carry her
Where she needs to be
Where she needs to go
Set her free
Breathe light air
Fresh and clear
Breathe in the life
That makes up her soul
Her beautiful soul
Permeating all her cells
Making up her being
Her beautiful being
Composed of love
From a different time
Untainted love
The kind found in dreams
Dreams unbound
By any constraint
Boundless love
Boundless life
Lucid and clear
What she wants
So desperately
It awaits her
So patiently
It waits for her
Her love inside
It waits for her
As long as it takes
It waits for her
Never abandoning
It has the time
As long as it takes
Her beautiful love
It waits for her
Love of herself
How she deserves
Set her free
I believe
I see this in her
It brings me peace
Knowing her love
It waits for her
It's always there
Her beautiful love
It's always there
To soothe her pain
Comfort any of her fears
Even when she can't see
It's always there
Her love waits for her
It has time
As long as it takes
It waits for her
She'll be fine
Her beautiful love
It waits for her
Even when she can't see
It's taking care of her
As long as it takes
Her beautiful love
It waits for her

**After thought...  Tara just told me what that blackout thing is.  I had seen it, but thought my computer was fucked.  What the fuck maaaan?!  Please don't black yourselves out girls!  Please!