#5 - West Coast Grill

West Coast Grill at the Prestige Lakeside Resort
August 2, 2017
$17.85 after tax, before tip

This was a spontaneous one today.  One of my friends has mentioned a couple times that she wants in on one of my burger tour stops…aiming towards the Dam Inn because she lives not too far from the Organic Mechanic in the no man’s land where Krestova and Pass Creek collide.  I only say it is no man’s land because it doesn’t really seem to fully be one or the other places.

Rather than my usual off work time of somewhere between 10-11am, I felt lazy today and had a short day, so I started it a bit later around 6am rather than 2:30am, and was gonna work til 12:00-12:30ish.

Since I was in town a bit later, and she works close to the lake, I asked if she wanted to go to the Prestige to have a spontaneous burger with me.  Totally into it…100%!

As I was pulling into the parking lot I saw her walking towards the entrance, so I pulled up beside her, rolled down my passenger window and with a big smile I yelled out, “Hey mutha-fucka!,” and then I kept drivin’ to park.  She definitely saw me, but I’m not sure if she heard me.  I know for sure she’d’ve dug me sayin’ that.  She’s just that bad-ass!  I parked my van, got out and she was walking toward me.  

(I’m not saying her name ‘cause she didn’t wanna be posted on the internet…shouldda seen her when I faked that I was gonna take her photo.  Totally excellent!  I‘m tellin’ yuh…she’s just a bad-ass cool chick!  She was the first person I met when I moved as she lived in the cabin I was moving into on May 1, 1999.  She took me on a tour of the place and told me some shit.  We were instant friends, and have stayed that way.)

We went inside and stood at the “Wait here you fucks!” sign at the front entrance.  (Because of so many whiners these days, I feel I must mention that it didn't actually say that, but it is how those signs have always made me feel.)  Our server was super nice.  She asked if we wanted to be inside or out on the patio.  My friend deferred every decision to me ‘cause it was my little tour she was hitchin’ a ride on for the day.  I said patio…100%! 

Nothing comes close to the patio at the Prestige Lakeside Resort in Nelson.  Literally nothing!  It’s right on the water.  No traffic.  Nice and mellow.  Spectacularly beautiful!  The patio at The Savoy Hotel (The Falls Music Lounge and Farm Fresh Café) is by far the best downtown.  Nothing touches it, but when you are on the patio at the Prestige looking up or down the lake, or simply at the mountains across the water it is like a little oasis, even in this gorgeous town.

The three of us walked out onto the patio and our server asked us where we would like to be seated.  I suggested the corner.  The patio was busy, but the corner felt like our own little slice of the place, so we sat there.

The service was a bit slow, but the patio was very busy…especially for a Wednesday at 1pm.  None of the patios downtown are busy like that at that time of day in the middle of the week…none that I have seen when walking along Baker Street.  The speed of service didn’t matter ‘cause it wasn’t that bad.  I’m not that much of an idiot either…I know if a place is kickin’ off busy, things won’t be necessarily as fast…that’s only common sense.  Our server was super nice, so everything was all good.

(I’m sick of saying, “my friend” here so I am gonna call her Tazzy)

A bit after we were seated and chillin’, our server came back to take our order.  Tazzy went first.  I don’t know what kinda burger she ordered, but she absolutely despises ketchup and wanted it nowhere near plate or food.  She told our server as much.  

When it was my time to order I said I feel the same way about mayo that Tazzy does about ketchup.  I fuckin’ haaate that shit!  Our server asked me if I wanted her to take it off the burger I ordered.  I said, “No…I want it however you guys make and serve them, except I would like it to have cheese, bacon and jalapenos as well if possible, please.”  I ordered a ginger ale to come with the food…and a water to start, and also asked if she could bring a steak knife as well.

Tazzy looked at me and said she could never do what I did with the mayo in regards to how she feels about ketchup…just eat it anyway ‘cause it was served with it.  I told her I wanted an even playing field for every place I go to.  I don’t look at the menu, I just ask for a burger with bacon, cheese and jalapenos…fries and a ginger ale.  Same thing every time!  I figure that is the only way that is fair.

Once we put our order in, Tazzy and I just blabbed about whatever.  We’ve always had easy conversation about anything…where time just becomes a non-factor.  Most everything is always light and casual, but we did take a moment to both come completely unglued about the pieces of shit who stole the fire hoses and pumps at the Harrop firefighter’s site. 

With all the fires raging, and smoke filling the air, even the stupidest piece of shit out there would know that is a wrong thing to do when the gawd damned mountain is burning down.  That leaves one wondering what level their dumb-fuck brain is on.  (That’s the kinda shit that makes you think mankind is doomed and deserves to go down in a ball of flames.  Who in their right freakin’ mind does something like that?!)  Other than that rant we shared, everything else was light and fluffy…cotton candy-ish. 

Despite all the smoke, it was a beauty day.  It was the first time in all the smoky days in all the years that I have lived here that the smoke messed with my eyes a bit.  That wasn’t a big deal.  Our conversation distracted me from really noticing or caring about what the smoke was doing to my eyes.

Tazzy and I watched helicopters continuously fly by with their water bomber bags hanging on the long lines beneath them.  (Hence the rant about those hose thieving bastids!)  Even watching that, you still can’t help but to get sucked into the beauty of this place.  We talked about the redwoods in California, and the Oregon Coast, as well as the Sunshine Coast here in BC, and other places.  As amazing as they all are I still think the West Kootenay is the best place ever.  I never forget how lucky I am to be able to call it home. (Yup…we talked about that too.)

It’s easy to get lost in good conversation and forget about what you’re doin’, which is kinda where I was at when our food arrived.  “Oh yeah…sweet…burgers!”  

I’m starting to get interested in how each place presents their burgers.  I mean, it’s a fuckin’ burger and fries maaaan, how different can it really be?  Well, the West Coast Grill is the first place on my burger tour to serve theirs on a wooden cutting board, so that was a little different.  Outside of that, though it was pretty straight forward.

Three of the five places so far have served their fries in a little round upright metal container.  When I see those it seems like it is a restaurant’s way of trying to distract you with a sense of fanciness so they can chintz out on amount of fries they give you.  I don’t understand that ‘cause fries are just potatoes…which are cheap-ass for a shitload!  (That’s if they even use hand cut fries…boxed ones from suppliers are even cheaper).  Tazzy was with me on that too.

The amount of fries was definitely on the short side.  Although they are supposed to accent the burger, they are just the afterthought at best.  Even if they’re shitty I don’t overly care ‘cause it is the burger that matters.  The burger was the smallest so far…by quite a bit.

When our server handed Tazzy hers, with a smile she said, “No ketchup.”  Then she placed mine down on the table in front of me.  She told me she put the jalapenos on the bottom, but took off the tomatoes and pickles.  As an instant reaction, the same way you would jerk your hand back if you burnt it on a flame somehow, I blurted out, “Why’d you do that?”  I wasn’t shitty about it, but I wasn’t subtle about it either.  

We were all gigglin’…me, Tazzy, and our server, so it wasn’t a harsh thing at all.  Our server said because I asked for cheese, jalapenos and bacon.  I said, that’s great, but I just meant all that on top of what you regularly serve on a burger.  When I said that, she said she was gonna go get some for me.  I told her she didn’t have to.  She was awesome though and brought me a plate of sliced pickles and tomatoes with my ginger ale.  She was a total sweetheart.

After she left, Tazzy started diggin’ in and I busted out my shitty camera to start takin’ a few photos.  Just because I’m a jack-ass, the first photo I took was of one of the chairs at our table that we weren’t using.  That was because it had a tiny splat of bird shit on it and made me think of my battle with some little fucker birds that get my deck chairs.  (Haha…yuh lil’ bastids!)  

The top of the bun was pretty shiny greasy.  That did not escape my eye, nor Tazzy’s either.  Since there were two of us, who are both lil’ fuckers, it did turn into a giggly conversation.  I had her laughing when I said it was nothing like the chorizo burger from Louie’s ‘cause “…that thing made my throat to my belly feel like a freakin’ Slip-N-Slide!"

After I took a few photos I picked up the knife to cut the burger in half.  (Tazzy distracted me as I forgot to film the video of it that I know I would never watch :) )  That led to the short conversation of how much I didn’t like cutting a burger in half and her agreeing that it is a wrong thing to do.  Once again, we both agreed on our own stupid meaningless burger policies…outside of our polar opposite black and white different takes on shit-ass mayo and kick-ass ketchup.  (Haha…suck it Tazzy!)

Our server said she put jalapenos on the bottom, but I couldn’t really taste them, so I took the bun off the first half to put some on it.  I was kinda hesitant though because I wanted to eat it as served and no different.  

The first thing I noticed when I took the burger off was the lack of an obvious bacon presence.  I had to kinda search for it, and found a tiny bit of it tucked under the lettuce.  It was definitely a stark contrast to Louie’s, who definitely had every restaurant so far crushed with quality and amount of bacon.

It was a weird conflicting thing.  I hate wasting food, but for my little tour I wanted to be fair to all restaurants and give the straight take on the burger they put in front of me…not having to add things in the aftermath.  Because of that I only put one tiny slice of jalapeno and the smallest tomato slice on my burger.  

Before I put the bun on, Tazzy and I started talking about caramelized onions.  She freakin’ loves them, but I am the opposite.  I love raw onions…the crunch, and the little pop of juiciness while it is grabbing you with some bite.  I will always prefer raw onions over cooked ones.  (How we liked our onions was our only other disagreement of the day!)

As I have stated, for me a burger is all about the patty.  It is the showcase of the event.  (When I was a kid, so often of the time I would eat a burger with absolutely nothing on it…plain as fuck…and loved it.  I remember Gavin McLeod crushing down plain burgers too way back in the day at ours, or our dad’s hockey tournaments.)  Despite the mayo, caramelized onions, and removed pickles and tomatoes, I bunned up and dug in. 

I always look forward to the first bite of a burger the most.  It’s like pulling back the curtain and seeing the prize hiding behind.  The first bite of this burger was pretty good.  I liked the spice and seasoning to the point where I was consciously aware of it.  After a couple more bites I was still kinda waiting to taste the little burn that jalapenos typically bring.  That never came though.

I flew through the first half because it was quite small in comparison to all the other burgers so far.  I chose not to put any of the side toppings on the second half…just eating it completely as is.  I was flying through the second half too, only to stop to nourish my suspicion that the patty was somewhat dry.  As I slowed down to think about that, I mentioned it to Tazzy after I swallowed the bite I was on.  She was in 100% agreement that hers was dry too.

We were done our food pretty quickly after that.  When we were, we had our quick little recap.  The size of the burger was smaller than your usual restaurant quality burger.  Despite that the bun was quite greasy on top, and the patty was a tad dry, it was pretty good.  Hit and miss I’d say.  I mentally scored it at a lone number three on my list of five so far.  It was far ahead of the bottom two, but far behind the top two.  A solid average little burger on a fuckin’ kick-ass gorgeous patio!

As the side note that they are, the fries were dry, kinda tasteless, and there were a very small amount of them.  They earned their title of afterthought.  As I was eating I started noticing I kept moving the little container of fries around.  The way they are presented like that they always seemed to be in the way, and posed the risk of being knocked over.  Tazzy observed the same thing.  We both came to the conclusion that serving a tiny amount of fries in a little upright container is a shitty way to do it.

The ginger ale was ok.  So far, the ginger ales at all places haven’t had the crispness in the fizz you like…a tad flatty-dull.  This ain’t a ginger ale tour though…this is a burger tour.
 
It was the cheapest by $2.00 so far, so that was good.  I felt that fell in line with the size of it.  

On a nice sunny day, when you want a simple, cheaper, yet solid burger, the patio at the Prestige Lakeside Resort is a good place to kick back.  It was a nice little spontaneous lunch break with a kind old friend.  Yaaay for that!

701 Lakeside Drive
Nelson, BC
V1L 6G3
1-778-463-2236
www.westcoastgrill.ca/nelson